


For the First Time, I Have Hope

by klancepngs



Category: Yuuri!!! on Ice - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe-High School, Bullying, Friends to Lovers, Genderfluid Yuri Plisetsky, High School AU, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, INTERNALIZDD HOMOPHOBIA, M/M, Other, TRIGGER WARNINGS: MENTIONS OF RAPE/NON CON, Transphobia, aka i wrote this on a really rough day so it is Angst Central bear with me, i almost made JJ the bad guy but i literally couldn't bear to do it lmao, i love the idea of bodyguard otabek??? idk man i blame the mafia au's, i put down his name and immediately erased it, jj don't deserve that, sorry everyone, theyre both in junior year ig
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-21 23:48:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10685397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klancepngs/pseuds/klancepngs
Summary: Yuri has resigned themselves to a lifetime of bullying and worse, until a new student shows up, showing them that they might be able to have a second chance at life.





	For the First Time, I Have Hope

**Author's Note:**

> FOR THE LAST TIME BC I WANT TO MAKE IT V CLEAR SO NO ONE GETS HURT!!!  
> TRIGGER WARNINGS: MENTIONS OF RAPE/NONCON, BULLYING, HOMOPHOBIA, INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA, TRANSPHOBIA
> 
> otherwise I hope you enjoy!!

_Their feet slammed against the ground, heavy with exhaustion but still running as fast as they humanly could. He was close, they knew it. They turned a corner, but only ended up in a dead end. Panicked, they turned around, ready to bolt for another safe place. But it was too late. He had caught up._   
_“Looking for me, fag?”_

Yuri felt the hard back of the chair digging into their bruises, the guidance counselor staring them down from across the desk. They should’ve known that makeup wouldn’t hide the bruises. For fuck’s sake, makeup is what got them into this situation in the first place.  
“Yuri, you need to tell me who gave you those bruises,” the counselor tried, for the fifth time. They didn’t answer, for the fifth time. “Is there...something going on at home? Is your guardian hurting you?”  
Rage filled their eyes with red in just seconds. “No! Are you kidding me? Дедушка would never hurt me! How dare you?”  
“Yuri, I’m just trying to understand what happened, so I can help you.”  
“Nothing happened. I fell down the stairs.”  
“And got a black eye? What hit you in the eye?”  
“...I dunno.”  
The guidance counselor sighed. “Yuri, I want to help you. But if you insist that nothing happened, there’s nothing I can do. Just,” she slid a small card over the table towards Yuri, “call me at this number if you ever feel like talking.”  
Yuri nodded, taking the card and standing silently. They didn’t think twice before crumpling the card and throwing it in the trash on the way out.

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A week later, the bruises were finally healing. Sort of. They had turned that disgusting yellow color that looks awful but apparently means that the bruises are healing. That’s what google told them, anyway.  
They walked into school again, stomach churning. The mornings were the worst, there were too many people around, ready to attack. They hurried to their locker, grabbing their things with record speed and practically running to first period, into the math classroom where they almost felt safe under the watchful eye of the teacher.  
Class had hardly begun when a student knocked on the door to deliver a note from the office to the teacher, who then called Yuri up to the front of the class and informed him that they were supposed to go see the guidance counselor about something. Confused and embarrassed at the attention, they flushed red as they nodded and walked out the door, all the way down to the guidance office. They walked in, noticing a boy seated, facing the desk, with dark hair, tan skin, and an undercut. Who in the hell…?  
“Ah, Yuri, welcome. Otabek, this is Yuri Plisetsky. He will be your guide student for this next week, seeing as you two have all the same classes.”  
They, Yuri quietly corrected to themselves in their mind, then startled. What had she said?  
“Guide student? I don’t think I’m qualified to be--”  
“Nonsense. You know our school very well and you are a diligent student with A’s in all his classes.”  
“Yeah, but I wouldn’t want to force anyone to be friends with me if they don’t want to--”  
“Yuri, I’m asking you to do this. I need you to do this. No one else has all the same classes as Otabek.”  
Said Otabek finally turned to face Yuri, revealing his face. It was somber, but gentle. Not angry, but not happy. Probably a bad case of resting bitch face. He had dark eyes, giving a slight hostile impression, but they were very gentle, in all honesty. He had some fashion sense, made clear by his lack of the “straight white boy uniform”, also known as a random t-shirt, gym shorts, tall Nike socks, and tennis shoes. No, this boy wore a grey shirt, black pants, a dark jacket, and a grey scarf--that accessory being what showed his serious effort into his outfit. Interesting.  
“Fine. Come on, Otabek, it’s trig first period.”  
The boy nodded and stood, following Yuri and carrying his supplies by his waist, like every guy did. He was silent all the way back to class, and only nodded when the teacher gave him his seat. Yuri found themself staring at him through the class period, trying to figure him out. But his face was stoic, portraying nothing. Sigh. Whatever.  
Yuri led him through each of their shared classes after that--anatomy, theatre, AP literature, history, study hall, and spanish. The boy didn’t say anything, not even at lunch. It was so...peculiar.

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Walking into school the next day, Yuri was surprised to find Otabek standing at their locker. They strode to the locker slightly slower than usual, hesitant.  
Slightly slower was too slow.  
Yuri felt a hand grab their arm from behind. They startled, turning around to see Dmitry Petrov standing above them.  
“Going somewhere, fag?” the boy growled, baring teeth.  
“Just my locker, Dmitry. Leave me alone,” they replied, simmering with anger but afraid to fight in a school hallway.  
“You think you’re going to walk away from me?” he spat, grabbing their arm tighter, digging nails in this time. “It’s been a little while since our last session. I’m thinking after school today you meet me outside in the usual spot, or I make sure you don’t just end up with bruises this time.”  
Yuri felt tears welling in their eyes as they remembered the so-called sessions. But they wouldn’t cry, not this time, no, they would--  
“Leave him alone,” a deeper voice rumbled, and Yuri felt a gentle hand touch their shoulder. They turned to see Otabek staring Dmitry down, and the grip loosened on their arm.  
“Or what, tough guy? What shit are you willing to pull for this fuckin’ freak, huh?” Dmitry challenged, pushing closer to Otabek.  
Otabek decked him in one punch.

 

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“How did this even happen?” the guidance counselor asked them, pinching her nose with a defeated look on her face.  
“I punched him. He grabbed me and I freaked out and punched him. He grabbed me from behind, it was a gut reaction, it didn’t mean anything,” they spouted the lies, not looking at Otabek’s confused face next to them.  
“That’s not what he said. He said that Otabek punched him.”  
“No, he’s wrong. I punched him.”  
“Yuri.”  
“I punched him. I’m sorry. It was reflex.”  
“...fine. Given your clean record and high grades, and the fact that, according to you, this was simply a misunderstanding, I’m going to let this be a warning. Do anything else and you will be suspended.”  
“Yes ma’am.”  
The pair walked out of the guidance office, barely turning the corner into the next hallway before Yuri collapsed to the ground, defeated. They had to show up to the “session” tonight. And it would be hell, especially after what happened today.  
They felt the boy next to them sink down, sitting by them now, silent. He wouldn’t pressure them to speak, but it was clear what he expected.  
“Don’t do that, okay? Ever again...it only makes things worse.”  
“What do you mean?” the boy cocked his head, not showing emotion, but clearly curious.  
“It’s easiest if I just let him get what he wants. When things like this happen, he takes it out on me.”  
“What if he never gets a time to take it out on you?”  
“What? What the fuck are you on about?”  
“What if I was your bodyguard?”  
“Don’t be ridiculous.”  
“I’m not kidding. I’ll take you to school on my bike. I’ll walk with you through every hallway. I’ll take you home or wherever you need to go after school. He’s afraid of me now.”  
“On your bike? Like we’re fucking three?”  
“Bike is the wrong word. I have a spare helmet for my motorcycle.” Yuri tilted their head at that, thinking. He has a motorcycle? That he drives to school? They shook their head a little, trying to shake away the thoughts.  
“Why would you do that? You’ve only known me for a day.”  
“I dunno. I guess it’s cause I’ve been there. That’s why I became strong like I am today.”  
“I’m strong,” Yuri huffed.  
“Yeah, you are. Which is why you’ve survived so far.”  
Yuri sighed. Would they really let Otabek do this for them?  
“What do you want in return?”  
Otabek looked confused. “Why would I want anything in return?”  
“Because I’m not letting you just do this for me. It’s going to take up all your time and I feel bad doing it without doing anything for you.”  
Otabek considered this. He seemed to be deep in thought, and Yuri took the time to truly examine his face, how his eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly more with each idea, how he slowly and unconsciously chewed on his lip in thought. They felt a weird feeling in their stomach, and forced themself to look away.  
“Alright, fine. You’ll repay me by telling me something about yourself every day before you get on my bike in the morning.”  
Yuri raised an eyebrow, but nodded.  
“Weird, but whatever. That could work.”  
“Alright. Let’s get to lunch. This whole thing took way too long.”

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Each day after that, Yuri got ready for school, waited for Otabek to appear, then walked outside so they could tell him something about themself before getting on the bike.  
On the first day, Otabek observed their leopard print sweatshirt as they told him, “I like cats.”  
On the second day, it was “Purple is my favorite color.”  
On the third day, it was “I’m a Pisces.”  
On the fourth, it was “My birthday is March first.”  
And so it continued. Yuri could always feel eyes watching them, and they knew it was Dmitry. He would leer, but he couldn’t get anywhere close at all without Otabek escorting them away to the next class.  
Yuri continued watching Otabek in class beside them, and over time, they realized that he wasn’t really all that stoic or somber. No, he had a million expressions, you just had to know what to look for. Like the way he bites his lip if he’s thinking, or the little tiny dimple that appears on his cheek when he’s smiling in his minute way. Yuri finds themself sitting in bed at night, staring at the ceiling, seeing nothing but Otabek’s lips, chapped from riding the motorcycle through whipping wind.  
Fuck.

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Suddenly it’s been a month, and Yuri is running out of ways to skirt around what they really need to tell Otabek.  
And so, finally feeling safe from Dmitry to be who they are, Yuri put on a pair of black, heeled boots, a leather skater skirt, a tiger t-shirt, and a leather jacket. They applied dangerous red lipstick, sharp black liner, and dark mascara.  
And then they walked outside to meet Otabek.  
“I’m genderfluid.”  
“Okay. Are you sure that a skirt is a good idea on the motorcycle?”  
Yuri paused. They had never been so refreshingly dismissed before. Did he even react at all?  
“That’s it?”  
“I don’t think you’re anything different than what you were yesterday. You’re the same friend to me, so what do I care? Would you like me to use different pronouns?”  
“Oh.” They blinked a few times, then smiled and nodded. “Yes please. They/them works.”  
“Okay. As in, like, ‘I want to go get coffee with them sometime?’”  
They chuckled. “Sure.”  
“To the coffee or the usage?”  
They got on the bike, trying to hide their smile.  
“Yes.”

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After school, they both walked out to Otabek’s bicycle. They strolled in comfortable silence, something that had become quite common for them. Then, suddenly, the silence was shattered.  
“So, you think that just ‘cause you got yourself a meatshield that means you can start dressing like a girl again, huh?”  
Yuri’s skin crawled at the voice. No...no no no.  
“They’re allowed to wear what they want, Dmitry.” Otabek was calm as he stepped in front of Yuri.  
“He isn’t allowed to pretend to be a girl!”  
“They aren’t pretending to be anything. They’re existing in a way that makes them happy.”  
“Well, as long as he’s existing like this, I’m beating it out of him.”  
Otabek chuckled, deep, low, and rough. It sent a chill down Yuri’s spine that lay somewhere between fear and...arousal. “Do you really feel like that’s a good idea?”  
“Hey, faggot, why don’t you speak for yourself, huh?” Dmitry looked past Otabek to see Yuri staring at the ground. “What, too afraid to come at me? Too scared a’ me, ‘cause of what I did to you? You just fucking wait until this asshole isn’t here to protect you. I’ll make you pay.”  
Yuri felt all those memories flash through their mind. Spat on. Pushed around. Fucking forced to suck off that fucking asshole at the threat of being beaten to death.  
“No!” Yuri screamed, startling Otabek, who backed away a step. “No! I’m not your fucking toy anymore, bitch! I’m not going to be pushed around anymore because you’re too busy calling me a fag to tell your friends how you forced me to suck your dick! Your fucking issues with your internalized fucking homophobia aren’t my god damn problem! So leave me the fuck alone!”  
“Are you calling me gay?” Dmitry took a step forward, his face bright red with rage.  
“Yura--” Otabek tried to interject.  
“I’m calling you a rapist! And yeah, if you think I’m a guy, then guess what, you’re gay, fuckwit.”  
“Yura--”  
“You fucking son of a bitch! I’ll kill you!” Dmitry started doing a full sprint, running towards them angrily. Yuri tried to run towards him as well, but Otabek just grabbed their waist and hoisted them onto the bike before jumping on himself, gunning it, and driving away before Dmitry could reach them.

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Yuri felt their chest heaving as they held tightly to Otabek’s back, clutching onto it as if it was the only thing keeping them from falling away into the void.  
Which, in a way, it was.  
They kept driving, not headed for Yuri’s house, but they weren’t going to question it. They buzzed through the busy streets, into offshoots and alleys, shortcutting them to wherever Otabek was taking them.  
And then suddenly Otabek was killing the engine and getting off the bike. Yuri felt cold as he left their grasp, and suddenly, it all kicked in. The tears started to fall as they sat there on the back of Otabek’s bike, in this fucking skirt and this fucking lipstick. The cold seeped in as the hot tears bit at their numb skin, and then there was a warm hand on their shoulder, and they thoughtlessly stepped off the bike and allowed themself to be walked inside this mysterious building.  
They took an elevator up to a fifth floor apartment, walking down the hall to apartment 503. The door opened and Yuri took in their surroundings. The walls were a basic light tan, but the organized room still had plenty of personality. A row of plants sat on the windowsill, and there was a table in the middle of what looked like a living room with DJing equipment all over it. Posters with cool neon designs covered the walls, and there was a big, comfy looking couch.  
“I live alone, since I traveled here for school. My parents pay the bills and all, but all my DJing stuff is on me.” Otabek explained. Yuri nodded softly, a bit numb still, and walked over to the couch, sitting down gently at first and then allowing themself to tip over and lay prone on the cushions, silent tears streaming down their face.  
Otabek walked over, careful to be extremely quiet and gentle. Yuri lifted their head so Otabek could sit, and then laid it back in his lap. He said nothing, just gently carded his hands through their soft blonde hair. Finally, Yuri spoke.  
“He started it last year.”  
“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, Yura.”  
“No, I...I need to.”  
“Okay. Go on. I’m here to listen.”  
“Last year, he saw me in the park with my at-the-time boyfriend, wearing makeup. He...he waited until after school the next day, and then he pulled me aside and showed me the pictures. He said I had to...I had to have sex with him, or he would release the pictures. So...I did. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I had to go to the special place behind the park, where the trees are thick, and give him a blowjob.  
I hated it so much. I felt sick constantly, I felt like trash. I dumped my boyfriend because I didn’t want to cheat on him. I thought I could find a way out. I tried to steal his phone and delete the pictures once, but he caught me, and then it was every night.  
I thought I could fix it by coming out on my own, but that just made it worse. First, he was shocked that he lost his leverage. I got a few weeks off. But then he came back, telling me that if I didn’t come running every time he called for me, he’d make me wish I were dead. So I went back to doing it, back to being violated anytime he couldn’t get a girl to do what he wanted.  
And then one day, I got tired of it. I didn’t show up.  
I walked halfway home before I heard the footsteps behind me.  
He chased me, and I made a wrong turn. I got trapped in an alleyway. So he cornered me. And he beat the shit out of me. I was so covered in bruises that they sent me down to the guidance counselor. I told her nothing had happened.  
A week later, I met you, and...you know the rest from there.” Yuri told the story numbly, softly, barely audible. But Otabek took every word in, and soon, the tears were streaming down both of their faces. Yuri sat up, looking at Otabek.  
“I didn’t mean to make you cry...I’m sorry,” they mumbled, and then Otabek looked at them with such a pure anger that Yuri thought they might die.  
“Don’t you ever fucking apologize for what he did to you.” Otabek growled, yet the softness of the notion made Yuri melt. For the first time in a while, they smiled, genuinely believing that they could be...free of this. Maybe even happy…someday in the future. Because someone cared. Because Otabek cared. Otabek had cared from the very beginning.  
“Otabek, I--” they paused, thinking back through all of this, and deciding to change the subject. “You called me...Yura.”  
A slight shift came over Otabek’s face, a light pink hue dusting his cheeks and the tips of his ears.  
“Uh, yeah, sorry, it was just...a nickname. I won’t call you it anymore if it makes you uncom--”  
“No!” Yuri exclaimed, then bit their lip, reining it in a little. “Um, I mean. You can call me that. If you want.”  
“Alright, Yura. And, uh, my little sister back home calls me Beka. If you want.” He mumbled.  
Yuri nodded softly. “Okay.”  
A troubled expression came over Beka’s face. “Yura...can I suggest that you contact the police about Dmitry? They could issue a restraining order at the least, or arrest him, maybe.”  
“I…” Yuri paused. “I’ve never really thought about it before. I assumed that it would be my whole life, I...that might be a good idea.”  
“Okay. We can go down to the police station to do that tomorrow, since it’s Friday. Is that okay?”  
“...yes.”  
And they meant it. Suddenly, for the first time in a long time, things felt...okay. Not good. Never good. But...they could survive this. Maybe.

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A week later, the police were investigating Yuri’s case, and they were asked to stay out of school and away from Dmitry during the investigation. They had nothing to do, so Otabek had called in sick for the week, claiming mono, and faking his father’s voice in such a ridiculous way that Yuri had trouble not laughing loud enough for the receiver to pick up their giggles. But the school bought it, so whatever.  
Otabek felt determined to distract Yuri from the upcoming case and possible trial, so they were doing things all over town. They went and saw movies, ate at restaurants, walked around parks and on piers, whatever. And they talked. Sometimes, they sat in their own comfortable silence.  
Today, they were sitting on a bench by a pond. There were birds singing and the sun had finally decided to show itself, allowing the first trickles of spring to run into the world.  
“So, you DJ?”  
“Yes, a lot, actually. It’s my main hobby besides being your bodyguard.” Otabek teased. Yuri smiled softly.  
“I’m glad I take up most of your time.”  
“You know that’s not what I meant.”  
“Tell me more about DJing. What’s your favorite song?”  
“That’s a ridiculous question.”  
“How is that a ridiculous question?”  
“Yura, there’s so many different genres of music. There’s so many types. You can’t ask me to pick a favorite out of all of them.”  
“There’s a billion types of people in the world, but you’re still my favorite, Beka.” They said it nonchalantly, not thinking it through, but as the body next to them seized up, they began to regret that.  
“I...forget that I said that. That was weird.”  
“Yura, I--”  
“No, honestly, I get it, you don’t even have to answer, I said a weird thing.”  
“Yura--”  
“Seriously, Beka, don’t worry about it.”  
“Yuri Plisetsky I swear to god, if you don’t let me finish my sentence, you won’t be my favorite person anymore.”  
Yuri’s head whipped to face Otabek. “I...what?”  
“You’re my favorite person.”  
“Oh.”  
“Oh, what?”  
“Just...oh.” Yuri bit their lip, their mind racing. The feeling in their stomach that happened every time they touched him, they knew it wasn’t normal. The dreams they had about him, that wasn’t normal either. But until now...until now they dismissed that, forcing themselves not to think about it. They thought Otabek wouldn’t feel the same way. But maybe...maybe the blushes, maybe the constant smile, maybe the faking sick just to spend time with them, maybe all the things they did together, maybe all of it--oh, fuck it.  
“I apologize in advance for fucking everything up.” They said with a slight wry smile, and when Otabek turned to look at them with confusion, they leaned forward, smashing their lips against his in an ungraceful manner. It only lasted a second, and they fucked it up a lot, but it was the best second of their life. Until they realized that Otabek wasn’t kissing back, and was instead sitting, solid as a rock, completely still in front of them.  
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.  
They pulled back immediately, standing up to take a step away, covering their face with their hands in embarrassment.  
“God, I’m so sorry, I thought--oh, fucking hell, I’m so bad at all of this! Oh god…” they rambled, on and on, and then suddenly gentle fingers were pulling their arms away from their crimson shaded face.  
“Yura, I’m sorry. I got scared. I couldn’t believe it was happening. I kind of thought I was dreaming.”  
“Hah, like a nightmare?” Yuri managed to mumble.  
“No, you egg, like a dream. I wasn’t going to do anything about my feelings, because I know you’ve had a lot of shit happen, and I didn’t want to make you feel like you were being forced into anything--”  
“Wait, what?”  
“Yura, I like you a lot.”  
“I’m sorry, what?”  
“Like, I like you. In a romantic way. Like in a ‘I want to kiss you and make you feel beautiful and touch your butt’ sorta way.”  
Yuri froze, their mouth dropping open. “I...what?”  
Otabek chuckled, nibbling his lip for a second. “You’re saying what a lot. You okay?”  
Dazed, Yuri managed a nod. “I...um. Yes?”  
“Yes, or yes with a question mark?”  
“...all of the above?” they smiled softly, looking into Otabek’s eyes and wondering. Wondering if they could ever be really, truly...happy.  
Maybe not.  
But...this seemed like a good start.  
So they let themselves step forward towards Otabek, leaning in until they were an inch apart, hesitating for a moment, meeting his eyes.  
“Is this okay, Yura?” he asked in a hushed voice, staring into their eyes with a hint of fear. “I don't want to push you--”  
Before he could finish talking, Yuri closed the gap between them, more gently this time. Their lips met his softly, and their eyes closed as the two moved in time with each other, back and forth. Otabek tasted like bubblegum, oddly enough. They smiled against the kiss a bit.  
When the two finally pulled apart, they had tears in their eyes. Otabek immediately pulled back, afraid that he had intruded upon them, but Yuri grabbed his arms before he could go far.  
“Yura, I’m sorry, did I do something--”  
“No! No, you did nothing,” they replied, smiling as the tears ran down their face. “It's just. For the first time in a long time, I have hope that this might get better.”  
Otabek smiled, pulling them close again, this time into a warm embrace.  
“It will, Yura. It will.”

**Author's Note:**

> still not sure how i feel about this story i wrote it on a bad day so it's a bit,,,,angsty  
> i'm a giant whore for comments and they will make my day so please let me know how you liked it!!!


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